Whenninaspeak:
W
Watch me.
No need
On my second day at work, I was given a task to coordinate a Ramadhan Charity at Afghanistan in a remote village called Herat. I was excited and waited for my boss’ decision to send me there to assist the team in providing food and drinks for Iftar to the poor villagers in the rural area, unwittingly thinking that it would be an experience hence my change of job, field and career path.
Anticipating a decision, I was disappointed to learn that the Charity has been canceled due to time restraint. We were given a week to kick off the charity.
On 7th September P.Guna from The Star wrote an article titled “Put Safety First in Aid Mission” on learning from the unfortunate experience in Somalia where a BernamaTV cameraman was shot while delivering aid to Somalia.
Somalia being a famine country, with gunmen marauding to numerous warlords is a very risky place to be. P. Guna said to imagine the logistic nightmare and that The Putera 1Malaysia Club should note on how to get the food to the right location from the airport, how do we know the people who needs it, how are we certain the safety the people distributing the food before sending a humanitarian contingent to deliver the aid to Somalia, a contingent which included 18 journalist.
I was sad to even know that before the grief and anger over the death of Noramfaizul has abated, the club president wants to return to the war-thorn area next month.
No reason to be hasty after a mistake that is how I see it. P.Guna also mentioned that it is still too early and this is not the time for bravado and reactions. In another word, this is not a damn joyride.
The club rushed doing the charity and brought 18 journalists who are not trained without experience of doing charities like this, into a war zone to get a good media coverage.
During my times in the media, media junkets are what most of us look forward too. A free trip with everything paid for. In this case, when the club invites a media to the scene, who doesn’t want to go? All you need to give in return is coverage. And with the benefits a media get? Venturing Somalia where not many people could go. Duh easy peasy.
STUPID.
After reading the article I thought of the Ramadhan Charity at Hared that I was assigned to coordinate. My boss did mention to me that he doesn’t think it’s a good idea to send me, a girl, there. Now, I am actually glad that it didn’t happen.
I read through the emails and thought to myself, P.Guna was right.” Imagine the logistic nightmare”. It was said that we will need to land at Kabul and from there to travel to Hared. Trust me, if you were to read the details you’d have MANY I say MANY to ask. Everything wasn’t clear as the replies from the consultant suggesting the damn charity wasn’t giving solid answers. It’s all “I think, if I’m not mistaken, according to..” No certain answers that could comfort us to proceed with a plan. Oh did I mention that our time line was tight as the fish’s ass? Kwayzie I tell yew…
“If charity is the aim – and it should be- then the paramount consideration is to get as much aid as possible to starving people in Somalia in the most EFFICIENT and EFFECTIVE manner possible with as little danger as possible” said P.Guna
Now people misinterpret when publicity is necessary. Publicity on CSR should carry a motive to create awareness to people when disaster strikes and to induce others to more charity from the wider public.
A simple charity that i think induces people to do good is this one
I can bet that many organization or clubs or people didn’t even think of this as they think that coverage on doing good reflects a good reputation and that’s what everyone is chasing. It is true,doing good is a good reputation however, the way you make people watch it or the way you deliver the message should be in a right manner.
CSR is now a trend or a tool for crisis management in an organization, a tool for branding and a lame way to show off. That is what I think.
Bersamamu on Tv3 is a good show to make people in the urban areas realize how lucky they are until the huge cheque comes out in the end of the show. What a big turn off.
“When charity is done quietly behind the scenes and efficiently by people who know what it’s about and are prepared to forego their comfort, incomes and egos to do a job – then much can be done”
There are many organizations or clubs out there doing it in the down low and I have to say Thank You for that. Sincere actions from these people make the job done. God bless you all.
After weeks of gloomy weather, finally today I can see the sun again. Happy Malaysian Day to all.
Whenninaspeaks:
once dad told me "nothing beats the joy of giving"
My Brother Zurin & Fieza's Wedding Reception Video Snippets
On the right side of my blog page is the media player that automatically plays music background. You can press pause on the media player to watch the videos below :)
This post consist of video snippets from My brother Zurin's Wedding Reception held on a Saturday Afternoon, 18th June 2011 @ Armada Hotel. It was a Latin inspired theme by the way.
MUST WATCH THE GRAND ENTRANCE
Zurin's Cousins Marishka, Mayra, Alia, Aryana, Razman, Ashmeir, brother Zukri, And Uncle Doul.
THE EMCEE MR HANIFF
VIDEO PLAYED ON RECEPTION DAY
The Akad Nikah recap video. Song "Be with You" in the video is dedicated especially for Zurin & Fieza from our very own uncle, DouL. Also includes voice messages from Zurin's Uncle's, Aunts and Cousins. And yes, video Edited by the little sister, me :)
Batman has Robin, Zurin had Peter Gerard. The bestfriend's speech.
VIDEO PLAYED ON RECEPTION DAY
Messages for Zurin's La Salle Friends.
VIDEO PLAYED ON RECEPTION DAY
Zurin's Growing up video compiled and edited by me
Zurin's Growing up video compiled and edited by me
Proud Father giving the speech with Mum
MUST WATCH - Zurin & Fieza's first Dance
,,, the beautiful Guests who came ..
Whenninaspeaks:
Thank you to everyone who helped and came for the wedding.
The Female Deity
Way back when no boyfriends existed in my life I had a best
friend name ‘L’ (not real name)
She was the most beautiful friend I’ve ever known. Many
people thought we were sisters, as we were both inseparable. Back then, I
always wished that I was as lucky as her. Her uniform was always neatly ironed; her hair
was neatly combed and tied up with ribbons, she has the prettiest pencil box,
school bag and of course, L was the favorite to many teachers in school.
I was her shadow.
It was the Sports Day of 1997 at my primary school. L and I were neither
in the same team nor class that year. I was in the yellow team she was in the
hot red team. That year, my team won.
As I proudly wore my medal, I rushed out the crowd to look
for L to show her. I saw her crying at the field bench. I knew why she cried,
she didn’t get to go home with a medal like mine.
I gave her my medal to take it home.
When I got home, and told my family that I won, they asked
me where my medal was? I remember, my siblings started making fun of me
thinking I lost. It didn’t matter to me that time as giving L my medal was
actually the best feeling ever. I made my best friend happy.
When we were both 12 years old, L wanted to join the ‘Tunas
Puteri’ hike to Bukit Gasing. She needed company, and so, not letting her down, I
promise I will company her for the hike.
In the morning, I had an asthma attack. I insisted to still
go for the hike when my mum told me to rest. “I promised” I said, and a promise
to a friend should never be broken.
Panting with ventolin in my hands, I still went for the damn
hike. I was slow as I was out of breath. We made it to the top and I was half
dead by the time we reached the hill.
Come high school L was the cheerleader, the Leo club member the
one that sings to Britney’s tunes and I was the hockey, tennis player, and a
cadet in the Police club who plays the guitar learning tabs and chords. As the
days, weeks, months and years gone by, slowly we were apart.
Many times I wondered why and how it happened. We never talked
or smiled whenever we passed by each other. One day a little birdy told me that
L’s parents were not fond of me being her friend and thought that I was a bad
influence.
I have to admit that I was a messy one in school. Some
friends might remember I was always the one climbing the fences to get a quick
smoke outside school. I was the one who was always missing classes. Oh those
tantrum days.
Her new group of friends always… and I say ALWAYS gave me a
stare like I don’t belong in their Bimbo Circle.
I put my feet down to accept that I was a wreck. Slowly, i
let the friendship go and wished her and her pretentious friends who think they
are all the Serena and Blair of the damn school success in studies and future.
Who am I kidding ‘Fuck you bitches!’
Now, some Serena and Blair kinds ended up manning the
service counter in TANGS stores all I know. Call me horrible, but yea.
at they're utmost proudest phase of life, they should
know that, being all bitchy will not bring your cheerleader ass anywhere. As
you step out of high school, no one cares who you are. You are nobody but the
lame Jane and John Doe’s. Everyone is equally judge as that little step you
take to go to college is like a new life all together. It is a second chance to
know yourself better. You have two path to choose, the bad or the good. the weird or the cool. the low or high profile etc
So, be honest and nice.
Karma bites your ass when you least
expected it. Karma bites Bitchy ass' thrice.
I started new and threw all my fellow school friends away
to give myself a second chance, a different crowd and to search for worthy ones. I was and still am very
cautious with the girls I mix with. I’m sorry, but I choose my girlfriends as I
keep those who are not a bloody baby. And just like how I’d breathlessly climbed
the hill for L, I’ll do the same, or maybe climb a higher hill for the lady
friends I keep any damn time.
How it was in high school affected me and made me who I am
today too. That feeling of envy but loyal, cared but estranged, proud but down
to earth, changed me. It made me worked not twice but thrice as hard in college than I ever
did in school. Not entirely in academics but a sort of motivation to plant at least some good worth to
myself. Sheesh I had awesome fun in college I really did! Now, I am grooming myself
to manage my own company one day. Insyaallah.
It is less than the fingers i have but now, I have great bunch of girl friends who never, NEVER look
down on me like how high school did. (i welcome more! i don't bite i swear!)
some of the beautiful bunch
Whenninaspeaks:-
"I am glad I climbed the school fence. I guess I was
gutsy and more curious to know about the outside world behind those bloody fence you chose to be in!"
i.am.far.from.the.usual.
23
Whenninaspeaks :
She rhymes,
Weak I was before,
Pretending it'll end when I fall,
Pretending my laugh could cover all,
All the feelings, when 'he' made me crawl..
My hopes and dreams .. I can't remember,
No sound of music makes me higher.
'He' made me believe I was worthless in rhymes,
In rhymes he would call, call me names that made me cry..
'I was affected with hatred galore, imaginations I could kill to be happy for..'
Yet, 'he' killed me
*****************************************
Dare u made me believe,
That lilies bloom like the morning flower,
And when I bleed, you said I'm stronger, stronger to fly you higher?
Dare you mention my smile?
Drew me smirks through pieces of my life,
You always, always sing me lullaby..
How dare u made me sing,
When indeed the melodious tunes I sing,
Makes me forget all the awful things..
How dare you call me names..?
Names that I could hear till the wake of dawn, names that made me feel I belong..
'I am affected with natures galore, imagination, I never thought I had before'
Don't make me believe my worth aren't dying, you make me frown, listening to what you're saying..
Don't make me color the grey sky blue, because all I wanted to see is you..
Don't wake me up in the morning and say "sayang, I'll take you to the zoo",
What am I saying? I had too much fun till I had to go to the loo..
When my eyes are shut you hold me tight, you hold me tight through my midnight frights..
You say I am beautiful when I dressed up right, then, you took me to a candlelight..
When I was stabbed and felt hollow,
You whispered "just cry sayang, its alright to let go"
'I am affected by passions galore, imaginations I will surely treasure all.'
*****************************************
Till the last day u said,
"I will prove you wrong"
Till date, I hate, what I had was gone.
Each day I turn back, to accept my fall,
My last boat, I broke, I broke it all...
By Nina (written since 4 Feb 2009)
I Reminisce ..
Last night around 1:40am, a loud bang woke me up from a deep sleep. I was startled and paused awhile wondering what the hell it was. I could see my TV screen still playing 'Ghost Adventures' venturing haunted places and it freaked me out as I thought I brought the series to my dreams. Many things crossed my mind at that particular second. A plane crash around the Bukit jelutong area? a wrong turn out of a firecracker? even to an extend I thought there was an alien invasion!
I put on my robe and started to head out of the room to check on my parents. It was quite. And my parents were sleeping soundly like normal.
Still puzzled with what woke me; I look through my twitter time line, and saw a tweet from a friendly neighbor who was startled of the bang too. Yes it was the thunder.
A very unusual one.
Raya will be a simple one for me this year. I didn’t even bother to go get new clothes, bags or shoes. I didn’t care about refurnishing or cleaning the house. I didn’t care about the duit raya packets that I’ll be giving to the lil ones. This year is gonna be a very pale Hari Raya. Maybe because it is less than 100 days since the passing of my grandfather.
Today, it is gloomy.
Today, it is gloomy.
Last year, my dad was in the hospital waiting for a bypass surgery during Raya. We ended up wearing our baju kurung and baju melayu to the hospital making sure that we bring the joy and festivity to him. Aunts, uncles and cousins also my late grandfather visited dad in the hospital.
One funny thing I remembered was that, dad had a swollen face due to a reaction of soap and plastic. I think, he used a soap still covered with plastic during his bath and oddly, these combination reacted and gave him a swollen face. Hehehe it was hilarious.
Kak jija was 5 month pregnant and look how Natalya has grown. Trying to bring the festive spirit uplifted during the hard times last year, Kak jija also baked cornflakes cookies on the eve of Raya night to bring to the hospital.
Last Raya, was also the only year I bought the cheapest baju kurung which I also think was and still the best and simplest out of the years before.
We have open houses every year at home but last year; we canceled it last minute because of dads stay in the hospital. We were all very worried of dad actually, but still drew a smile during these days of raya we had in 2010.
I can see it’s not happening this year too (the open house) because of my grand dads passing but am very much relief as every year during the open house, it happens to be the most tiring day of the year. (I have to be honest)
Around this exact time last year, it was also the engagement day of my brother Wayne and his wife Fiza. Today, Fiza is pregnant with another niece or nephew to join the family next year.
I am blessed to have a beautiful family.
Whenninaspeaks:-
tHis raya is a new beginning, Last raya was a dread for forgiving, the Raya before was history. I Reminisce.
Maaf Zahir & Batin
A story book
This is a story about Mr. Bear. He is a big dark man who walks with his head down as if he is embarrassed to have eye contact with anyone. In his tight red checkered shirt he gives me an overwhelmed feeling as if I want to tilt my head a little and ask “hello dear, are you alright there?”
He has sparkling small eyes hidden behind his huge spectacles crooked on his tiny nose.
When he smiles it is as if you are smiling to a baby bear. Even a simple good morning greet to him, it could only lead you to a very big but soft hushed voice of a reply.
Mr. Bear carries an electrical career background but has a tremendous interest in IT. He works as an IT guy in the office and has been nothing less but helpful to me especially on my first few days and to many other people here in the office.
Without an IT background or education, Mr Bear managed to resolves any problem that occurs to any individual laptops or PC here. Regardless if it took him days or weeks for him to scratch his head wondering which button to press or wires to untangle, he did it with an open heart and for the reason of interest not realizing that his biggest contribution is helping others.
I was dazed earlier this morning when I heard an incident between Mr Bear and the Big Boss Chimp a "Wall Street" obnoxious type. One day, Mr. Bear had to fix a laptop owned by the Big Boss Chimp. He went in the office and humbly fiddled with the broken laptop. Big Boss Chimp got impatient and yelled to his face with vulgar words that hurt him. Although I don’t know Mr Bear at all and although this story is what I heard not seen, I felt angry with Big Boss Chimp.
This is a story about Mr. Bear,
From my first day at work, I’d said to myself I’ll never hurt, be harsh or rude to this checkered shirt bear man because whenever I see him I always have this warmth feeling in me. I always give him a smile or little chats in the lifts whenever I bump into him, always say thank you when he fixes my lap top also saying please in each request I needed.
I am not a Bully.
Some people are just too obsessed with power and statuses. Bullies think they could push people around to get what they want all the time. Bullies are impatient, obnoxious, opportunist and selfish son of &@#*&
When things like this happens many would turn the table to people like Mr Bear for not being hard headed or learn to stand for themselves.
But what if some people just can’t do that? What if some people just can’t stand for themselves?
Here in Malaysia, many carried manners and a kind heart to others. And all this chimps comes around bullying kind hearted people for.. what exactly? To feel good? To have power?
“Power means the ability to control one’s environment or other entities.” wiki
I was watching a series called OUTCASTS last night. Human being trying to restart their lives in another planet called Carpathia. The society in carpathia started with a pledge of no killing another human being, to not repeat what was done on earth. There were no hierarchy of any kind and governments are just to provide whatever they should for the rest of the human beings there in the Carpathia. But still, gangsterisms, thugs in groups slowly grow and ended up to be a bully to those who wishes a second life in Carpathia.
Even cats! There was a lost kitten in my front porch. It was scared but careful at the same time. As I was observing the little one, slowly from the other edge of my eyes I could see my cat, mimi moving slowly in a position to attack. Before she could attack the little one, I yelled “MIMI! Don’t be a bully!!”.
The funny thing was that many stray cats, mimi’s size was always mingling in front of our porch and mingling my cat’s food. I have 5 big spoiled cats and out of the 5 cats I have, none actually attack the strays to get lost.
But when it comes to that little kitten, being very small, mimi actually wanted to attack it.
The same here I guess in us humans. The big bullies the little, the smart bullies the dumb the fast bullies the slow. This happens everywhere.
Let us not be big boss chimps. Let us not be Mr Bear. It’s always good to have a lil of both I must say. To be Mr Bear and to only use Big Boss chimps way when needed.
"People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does...And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of this culture." By Mitch Albolm (p.42), Tuesdays with Morie
Whenninaspeaks :
"when you grow up, chachik will beat the crap out of any kid trynna be funny with you :)"
That darn thing
At this moment I am on a break in between two classes for Business Management course.
I had my Business Marketing class this morning with the lamest lecturer I have ever met.
He reads the exact thing in a book and gives us the most stupid examples ever. I got a feeling he is racist too as he keeps on talking how boring a muslims life is.
Take this for an example, he was explaining, I mean, "reading" a line about creative advertising and started talking about a friend he met who says that muslims does not believe in insurance policies.
He said that the guy he mentioned wanted to transport a vintage car over to another company and when questioned about insurance of the car the guy said I am a muslim and we don't take insurance policies.
My lecturer, being a so called educated person with a job to teach learners convinced the class that we muslims are actually practicing that here.
I being the only malay in there just cringe and said. That is not true. He then, looked at me like I was being smarter and said maybe u have no believes in your religion.
Bloody hell, who should know better between me and him about MY religion? Of course me la! In malaysia, muslim even work for an insurance company.
Or I might be wrong, perhaps somewhere in the guidelines of muslim did stated such things. And it got me confused and it made me questioned myself if that is true.
I mean come on la, some do believe in fate but that doesn't mean we don't have the right to control some of it. That guy he mentioned, maybe he is someone who believes strongly in fate with an attitude like "apa jadi, jadila, itu takdir". Kalau macam ni, muslims are just effortless.
I got so angry as if he is telling the class that muslims are lazy and effortless!
Without real facts or research this lecturer kept blabbering about this issue macam his taking it very personal by saying being a muslim u don't have choice.
Whenninaspeaks:
I think, All of us are racist in heart. With a reason to protect or defend what we believe in. But you don't see me acting like I know the bible or your believes, judge it and preach it to people. it doesn't matter what religion you are, there will always be a tension when a religions starts to defend what's right. Know your facts.
Men, My Men
A late night sleep dragged me up from bed this morning. Woke up a little late as usual but manage to get to the office on time.
It was a holiday yesterday, Nuzul Al-Quran, marks the day our Prophet receives the first line of the Quran. A slow day it was and I can’t remember how many times I woke and slept and woke and slept.When I finally got up, I got angry.
Now I know the reason when when mum bangs the door and yelled “Nina wake up! “or ” senja Bangun!”. When all I did was curling up under the covers, it left a bad headache in me throughout the whole night.
I was just angry because I had problem sleeping for weeks I guess.
“People who have problems with sleep are at increased risk for developing emotional disorders, depression, and anxiety.”
When you lie down on your bed, all cozz-ed up under your blanket, shut your eyes while you take a deep breath and hope that a goodnight dream floats you to sleep.They say, next the day will be a “fresh” day ahead.
I in the other hand cozz-ed up, shut my eyes and that’s it. The whole night I could hear the sound of my aircond and fan (yes, I use both coz im hot like that), the water flowing in my toilet drain, nearly everything i could hear till dawn. It was frustrating.
And so my evening for iftar was utterly horrible. I didn’t even help to set the table or heat up the leftovers till dad woke me up for soup.
The evening got better after a cigarette break with Dad after iftar. I saw, my dad's worried face in each inhalation of he's yucky Benson & Hedges stick followed by a calm exhalation of the cancerous smoke.
Dad told me to start saving and get myself an asset, a home on my own. I was relieved when he brought that up as I was always scared to ask him if I could live on my own one day. I plan to have a small place of my own before my little left finger is slipped with a silver black stone ring.
He reminded me that we are blessed after all the things we have been through as a family especially during the hard times; we still managed to have a taste of good food, things and comfortable life. I must say I agree with dad, and shame on me for not taking time to thank GOD and my parents for this.
Up till today I proudly carry with me manners and portray humbleness to myself and towards others. And it is all planted in me by none other than my parents and past.
When I was young I saw dad struggle to help others.Even when he had nothing he still tries to come up with something. I remember he used to have Pondok Didik, a home, a correctional shelter for the troubled and poor somewhere in PJ. After that, dad worked on proposals after proposals on humanity, society, education until there is a Cypress tree in our family that gave us a better and comfortable life.
Now, dad grooms my two brothers to move and maintain what he did from scratch. They work hard together on Societal Developments in the rural parts of a state. Alhamdulillah as this brought us, family, to where we are now.
I did video slides ( a sum up of what they did) and got really impressed to see the men of my family doing what they are doing through pictures of them going on ground. Enforcing manpower for teaching and helping the young, the elderly, women, and man by providing them a space to start a healthy society. I will upload it soon.
I am embarrassed to say that I myself am not really clear on how the company functions hence i don’t dare to write a bunch about it. But aside from this societal initiatives they’re doing, Cypress subsidized its company to many other pillars of field too.
It is a slow day in the office today.
Whenninaspeaks:
She quotes “We are a very western Malay family, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have the Melayu heart and spirit in us,” said dad (Azhar Harun)
The Dusk
A very smooth drive home from work with the brown mcd bag for papa's supper. By the time I reached the Bukit Jelutong toll, it was 7:40pm.
There it was ..
Iftar in every muslims home back at my place, and it was a peaceful sight ..
Iftar in every muslims home back at my place, and it was a peaceful sight ..
Houses lights are on and u can see and hear families seating on the dining table eating together. This amazes me as at that particular second when dusk hugs the sky, while the beautiful sound of Azan in the echoes of the faded dark sky, most of the muslims in the world are sipping their first drop of water and tasting food after a full day of fasting.
For a minute there my mind was clear, and in that very moment I thought nothing at all but took my time, driving through the Empty Street ...
Whenninaspeaks:
She quotes "The city feels clean this time of night, Just empty streets and me walking home, To clear my head" empty street, Late Night Alumni
Tight LikeThe Fish's Ass
It is all about press releases, at work these few days. My task was to translate a solid English press release into Bahasa Malaysia! and yes, up till 6:30 pm yesterday I made it through till the last full stop. Of course la my boss who was an ex writer in NST had to like seat with me and check the damn thing.
He came to realize that I like the word "Untuk" and laughed each time we came across that word in the press release.
See, the press release is about our company's latest HR Policy on CSR. In our yearly appraisal, 10 percent of the points earned would come from our involvements in any CSR activities. Finally a reason to do good to get better points for appraisal and to mark up yearly bonuses. I think its brilliant!
With help from my colleague, they gave me a useful translator site in google and it helped me alot. It wasnt completely correct but the words that you needed are there and all you gotta do is to make sense..
You can see that the translation is some what rather weird but from there you can actually fix it with your own Bahasa undersatanding. Not really sure if it is helpful for anyone else but hell it helped me completed my task.
Today when a friend asked a translation word in twitter, guess who replied la? :) hehhe wasnt sure if its right or not but, gained pahala at least do something nice :) the help from my dear friend Ju An who took time referring to Dewan Bahasa Pustaka also helped alot! haih .. we PR & Marcom ppl gotta stick togetha!
A few points my boss reminded me when writing to "be mindful what you write","first para is the most crucial part of a press release", "each para should be short and straight forward", "a para should not have more than 3 lines", "no capital aside the first word in a title".and oh! yea a quote he gave me by Joseph S. "Make it tight just like a fish's ass".
Now, translation of any press release from English to BM will be handed to me. Shit. Macam gempak sangat...lah my Bahasa."Nina, did you checkout Berita Harian's paper today?" Did you look at the styles and word they use?" my boss reminded me this first thing in the morning. oh crap. soon you'll be seeing me reading Harian Metro.
Up till I sent out the press releases to the press, he taught me. The fact that he was a writer, made me more eager to know how the editors would like a press release to be. From drafting a note to the editor appropriately, to BCC and follow ups. I knew the flow after 4 years Doing PR, and i use to work in a newspaper but never have I encountered interest in really learning the core of an Editors ways and all until today. but hey! no harm learning a more precise way ey?
I even asked him did he get irritated when PR agencies calls him on the phone to check if the Press Release is in his inbox? he said, "it depends how you say it, how clearly and how fast" - another tip.
I hate writing still. And if you read my blog u could see that some part of my grammar is bad. I just didn't care because I write while my heart says the word. oh yes, writing when you are angry is a productive release :)
Whenninaspeaks :
"In loop, In mind, in the most Striving time"
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